Heart's a mess

Everything is so fucking messed up. I have noone to turn to, I have lost so much, so so much I thought was never possible, but as I see things change, always not for the better but I'll get through, I always must.

Tomorrow's my b-day and im absolutley not waiting for it, why can't it be some time else. I even don't want to think about it, I hope tomorrow's going to pass nicely and quietly with no drama.

So much to do, so little time.